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5 Steps to Breaking Free from Porn (Joe Dallas)

STEP 2

5 STEPS TO BREAKING FREE FROM PORN by Joe Dallas.001.png

STEP 2 - Accountability

No Man Overcomes Porn by Himself
With Quotes from Joe Dallas’
5 Steps

THE POWER OF ACCOUNTABILITY

Principle 1: You don’t need accountability to do what comes naturally. You need accountability to resist what comes naturally.
 
So the dieter, who’s realized that the consequences of overeating outweigh the pleasurable benefits, won’t automatically stop craving junk food just because he’s realized it’s unhealthy and damaging. His cravings will continue and, at times, clash with his principles. And when he’s especially low on energy or motivation, he’ll be more inclined to return to the pastries or other favorite foods. 
 
Now suppose that during this low point, no one else knows he’s dieting. He’ll only have his conscience and willpower to rely on to keep him from defaulting to his old and usual behavior. But his emotional and perhaps even physical states are drained. He’s tired, moody, lonely, or bored. In that case, it wouldn’t be wise to trust in his ability to resist defaulting to his old “medication,” would it? 
 
But suppose he’s also a member of a Weight Watchers support group or he’s got close friends he’s confided in regarding dieting. They know how badly he needs to lose weight and how much he wants to stay on his diet. Now, rather than depending on his own shaky resolve, he’s also got the additional strength of allies! They encourage him to stay on course, exhorting and loving him through this tough time of temptation. That’s the power of accountability. You’ve taken steps to make it available because you know you’re inclined to default to the very thing you want to avoid, and that, left on your own, default is inevitable.
 
I cannot say this plainly or strongly enough: I’ve never known a man who’s overcome the porn habit without accountability. That’s how basic and critical this principle is. Iron gets sharpened by iron; it certainly doesn’t sharpen itself.

THE LACK OF POWER OF THE WILL

Sin is deceitful. Leave a man on his own long enough and, dollars to a donut, he'll find ways to start kidding himself. This is doubly true of his tendency to rationalize the sin he's most vulnerable to. Let’s never underestimate our ability to kid ourselves. That’s why you need a man or a group who will ask you on a weekly basis if you’ve used porn, put yourself in danger of using it, or indulged in behaviors that make you more susceptible to porn use.

Why is willpower both important, yet not enough? Why is accountability so important?

WHAT IS ACCOUNTABILITY?

Where there’s true accountability there’ll be three elements: 
  1. Someone else will know your specific area of weakness. 
  2. Someone will ask you weekly whether or not you’ve indulged that area of weakness. 
  3. Someone will be there to exhort, encourage, or empathize with you in case you’ve relapsed or to rejoice with you when you’ve stuck to your goal.

What is your specific area of weakness? When you relapse, how could your accountability partners help you the most?

THE ULTIMATE ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

It's not enough to just be accountable to each other. There's another Accountability Partner that we need too.  

A man accountable is first and foremost accountable to God, from whom he hears and to whom he answers daily. There is simply no other way to victorious living. So your first order of business regarding accountability is to ensure that you're regularly (meaning daily) reading the Bible and praying. If you're serious about living a life consecrated to God, you've got to talk and listen to Him daily.

Two tools to HELP connect with God daily

ACCOUNTABILITY

  • Are you connecting with God on a daily basis? Why or why not? What has helped you most to connect with God? How has that connection helped you battle porn and live free?
  • Which of the two tools for connecting with God daily will you try this week?
    • How can your group take accountability to the next level? For example, are you still making 3 weekly phone calls? Or how about a weekly Conquer Huddle – a virtual meeting via Zoom or Skype?
    • What’s been your biggest struggle this week?
    • What’s been your biggest victory?
    • How can your group pray for you?
    Karl House