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5 Steps to Breaking Free from Porn (Joe Dallas)

INTRO & STEP 1

5 STEPS TO BREAKING FREE FROM PORN by Joe Dallas.001.png

INTRO AND STEP 1 - Access

Removing Access to the Problem Is More Than Half the Battle
With Quotes from Joe Dallas’ 5 Steps
(Intro and Step 1)

The Chain Is Forged

The first link in the chain usually starts with a discovery. Some act— the use of porn, a sexual fantasy, whatever— delivers a perceived positive impact. A deep impact the brain carefully records for future reference. Then, when a man is either bored, or angry, or lonely, or uncomfortable in some way, the brain reminds him of the positive impact the sexual behavior delivered. So he repeats it to get relief from the current situation. Then he repeats it again, and soon the repetition becomes a pattern, the pattern becomes a dependency, and, link-by-link a chain is forged. From the moment the links are forged, a man’s mind is being darkened, his heart hardened, his integrity drained.

James 1:14-15 – Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

Briefly share how the links in your chain were formed.

CUT IT OFF!

Matthew 5:29-30 – So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

Jesus, spot on and as wise as ever, didn't say, "If your hand offends you, try to reform it. Or pray for it. Or send it to therapy to see why it offends you." Rather, He plainly advised, "Cut it off." He's saying whatever sin you've gotten accustomed to, you should have no confidence in your ability to just say no. Instead, distance yourself from it as much as possible and remove your ability to indulge in it. 
 
If you can access porn, then most likely you will. If you're serious about stopping porn use, you've got to distance yourself as much as possible from the porn itself. If you're not ready to do that, you're not ready to stop.

Have you cut off all access to porn both digitally and physically? Is Accountable2You installed on all your devices? How has this accountability software helped you win the battle against porn?

The Role of the Brain

When you’re serious about overcoming porn, you can get into a pretty ferocious wrestling match with your brain. When you discovered how porn helped you temporarily forget, helped soothe you, and caused excitement and pleasure, your brain recorded all of those benefits. So the next time you feel boredom, stress, or discomfort, the option of porn barges into your head like an unwelcomed pop-up on your computer. It reminds you, based on past experience, that the stuff worked and provided relief. You may be convinced porn is wrong. You may be determined with all your heart to never use porn again and, through repentance, reject it. But what the heart rejects, the brain has already recorded, making the option of porn an undesirable but lifelong addition to your brain’s filing system for coping strategies.

In the Conquer Series, Dr. Ted was fond of saying, "Sexual addiction isn’t a sex problem, but a brain problem. And guys use porn to medicate their pain."

How does knowing how your brain works on porn, help you to renew your mind (Romans 12:2) and take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)?

No Quick Fix, Rather Weapons for Victory

Temptation to use porn will continue in your life— sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. Its presence is no indicator that you’re doing anything wrong. It only means you’re a new creature still residing within a sinful body in a sinful world. Part of your responsibility is to deal with the ongoing fact of temptation. God will not remove it from your life. He will gladly empower you to meet that enemy armed and ready with His Word, His principles, and His Spirit within you. And with that kind of equipment and help, temptation may continue to be a pain in the butt, but it need never master you. Jesus met it head on and mastered it. He resides within you in the form of the Holy Spirit, so it’s doubly reassuring to consider that “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). Therefore, “sin shall not have dominion over you” (Romans 6:14).

1 Corinthians 10:13 – The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure

Why doesn’t God provide a quick fix? How does God provide a way out so we can stand firm in the face of temptation? What has helped you the most to endure temptation?

accountability

How were you tempted to act out sexually this week? How did the battle go? How can the group help you win the battle?

Karl House