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Relationships (1) - Questions

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Healthy Choices in Everyday Frictions

1. Friction is a fact of life

List some everyday frictions that happen in everyday life in everyday relationships. Some are funny. Some aren’t!

Are the type of person who is surprised by friction or are you the kind of person who takes it all in stride? Why?

Romans 12:9-21

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

2. You can’t sin when being sinned against

Romans 12:17-18

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

Why doesn’t sinning back or rubbing back even harder work?

3. You can’t build up when your speech is tearing down

Romans 12:14

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Proverbs 15:28

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

Proverbs 10:19

Sin is not ended by multiplying words,
 but the prudent hold their tongues.

Proverbs 18:21

The tongue has the power of life and death.

Psalm 141:3

Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Which of the above passages on the use of your speach speaks most to you and why?

4. You have to trust God with the results

Romans 12:19

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.

  • And God’s working, intervention, convicting, blessing and timing

  • You only have control over you

  • Trust God’s control over the whole situation

When you try to control someone else it is called manipulation. Why does that always backfire? Why is so easy to try to control others rather than ourselves?

5. You have to be willing to do right for someone who’s doing wrong

Romans 12:21

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

  • 2 wrongs don’t make a right, but 1 right may change 1 wrong

What’s the GREATEST right that overcame the GREATEST WRONG?

For Everyday Frictions
NOT Everyday ABUSE!

Abuse is in a different category
Get help asap!

Why doesn’t this apply to abuse?!

6. You can’t get help when you keep hiding from others

Matthew 18:15-17

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Why is this order of intervention so wise? Do you follow it? Have you seen it at work?

The prayer for healthy choices for everyday frictions…

Jesus, what would you have me BE, DO or SAY right now?
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Karl House